It’s here! The day I have been waiting for. My little girl is still comfy in my belly and showing no signs of coming out today. At my doctor appointment yesterday, I didn’t show much progress. I was 50% effaced (same as my 39 week appointment), a fingertip dilated (same as 38 weeks) and baby was at a -2 (moved down a little but still pretty high). I have been moaning and groaning for a few weeks now and am feeling guilty about it. When I sit back and reflect on today, I know I am very lucky. Despite the cankles, insomnia, headaches and general uncomfortableness, I have a lot to be grateful for today. A day didn’t know if I would ever get to.
This journey seems so much longer than 40 weeks and so much more than the physical and emotional symptoms of pregnancy and I guess that’s because it is. It encompasses my husband and I’s quest for a family, starting back at our wishes and conversations before I went off birth control in the summer of 2014. It encompasses our attempts at a natural pregnancy, our testing when that natural pregnancy didn’t come , our IVF journey, every needle, morning appointment, procedure, our heartbreaking miscarriage, our three two week waits, our tears of joy, our fears and our love. It’s all wrapped up in this little girl kicking away in my belly. So for at least the day, I am going to try to put my cranky pregnancy rants aside and marvel in the happiness these kicks bring. Marvel in the wonder of this pregnancy and the miracle that is upon us.