My heart is full

It’s 8am and I am about to get out of bed. My husband and I split up the weekend mornings to give each other a little extra time to rest. I woke up yesterday with the baby so today is my day to stay in bed a little longer (although I already got out of bed at 7:15 when I heard Brynn screaming to see if help was needed and ever since then I have been looking at work emails-so much for relaxing!) Anyway, I am listening to my husband play with the baby and I am flooded with gratefulness that this is my life. I hear Brynn babbling and the sound of her dropping her rings onto her toy. I hear my sweet husband playing along with her naming the colors of the rings. My baby was 10 months last week- 10 MONTHS?! How did this happen? Every morning when I see her happy face it feels like Christmas morning. Sure some mornings I am dragging myself out of bed frustrated but then her smile wipes away the exhaustion and annoyance and my heart is full. My baby has become a big baby with a sassy, determined, sociable and silly personality all her own. She cruises and stands independently for a few seconds, eats mostly real food, waves, claps, dances and says a host of words (mama, dada, pop, Nana, baba, uh-uh (instead of uhoh), Apple). She hates diaper changes and if we take anything away from her. She loves playing peekaboo from behind furniture. She is getting pretty good at puzzles and now “feeds” her baby doll when we pretend to have a picnic. She gives kisses and can be really snuggly when she is done playing. She is everything I dreamed of and more. I have never been so tired in my life and when my head hits my pillow in about 15 hours I’ll be exhausted all over again. I’ll have anxiety about my work meetings tomorrow, I’ll feel like I didn’t get enough housework or “work” work done. But I’ll have also had a wonderful day playing with my baby girl and tomorrow morning that smile from our crib will give me the energy and motivation to start another day. My heart is full.

 

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